Its going to be 2010 soon and people around may know that there has been a lot of changes at my work place. There are many not good changes and some good ones. Many good people have left or are leaving. And like Nero playing his fiddle when Rome burned, it seems like the leadership are concentrating on the minutiae rather then focusing on the important core issues.
The good things are that I am running my own ward. I have some degree of independence and flexibility. My request to run my own service has also been approved in principle. I will be able to set up a service in my chosen field of interest.
But I am having serious doubts. Are the good things enough to outweigh the bad? Running a service…will I be up to the challenge? It takes a large amount of passion, self belief and self confidence to make a clinical service successful. Hard work and long hours of planning being already part of the equation. People management, to inspire, to lead and to cultivate are also important. I’m not sure I am capable of all of this. As it is, I feel that I am just bumbling along. I don’t think I am managing people very well either….Sigh, the honest truth is, I don’t really think I’m up to all of this…
There are alternatives. One would be to strike out on my own. It has its attractions and challenges. Its something to ponder on as the new year comes.
Have u gone the self-deception yet? u will make a good leader cos u r human enough.. no worries.