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Changes

Life is change. From the moment we are born, our bodies change, grow and mature. Our environment changes too. From a little cot to gradually larger beds for example. Hence, one would think that as we get older, we have gotten used to changes and are able to cope with them better. It hasn’t. Rather, the converse happens.

It’s hard to accept that we can’t party all night and then go to work the next day. It’s hard to accept that person staring back at you, white hairs, thick waist and wrinkles is you. It’s doubly hard to see people you know leave or change.

Today is Katie’s last day working with me. I’ve known Katie for a good part of the last eight years. I’d like to think that we’ve become good friends and colleagues. Katie is going on to peruse her passions and interests. I wish her the best. I’m sure she will succeed. But like the person I see in the mirror, change is hard to accept. I will miss her.

Now we are five

Gosh. My son was born on 2nd December 2011. It’s been a very different experience with him thus far. With the twins, we were new parents with absolutely no idea what we were doing. Also, we made some assumptions about help that didn’t quite materialize. The first month with the twins was a nightmare. Both my SO and I lost 5 kg each. We dreaded the nights as everyone else was asleep. With my son, we decided to get a confinement nanny.

Initially, we had a lot of worries about getting one. We heard horror stories of nannies that were very traditional and didn’t allow the mother to bath for the entire month of confinement.

The nanny was a pleasant surprise. She essentially took over the cooking of meals and care for the baby. So much so, our nights during the confinement period were surprisingly livable.

The other difference is that my son is so different from the twins. He’s a much more robust baby with a lot of personality. Maybe it’s because that we have more time to focus on him but it’s nice to be able to look after just one.

The flipside of course, is that the twins are feeling a little insecure. H is coping better as she always has been closer to me. But poor S is feeling the lack of time with the mother. But it’s all part of growing together as a family.

It’s good.

Part trois

It’s been almost a year since I touched this blog. Much has happened. Much has NOT happened.

Not happened? Alas, I have still yet to find that eccentric elusive relative who decides to leave me the family fortune upon their demise. Sadly, I still am confused where should I go for the next step of my career.

But, the family has moved into a new apartment and we have a new domestic help.

I am a notorious procrastinator. My SO loves to tell how it took 3 years for me to put up a mirror in our toilet…only to sell that apartment a year later. So although I’ve been promising my SO that we will buy a new place and we will move out of my parent’s house, the truth is, I would have probably taken some time to finally do it.

I also know now God has a very good sense of humor. Did I mention that when my SO and I first married, she thought that it would be wonderful to have twins. Sooo…we had twins. About a year ago, she started talking about having another baby… she was hoping for a boy as well. Guess what? Approximately 9 months ago, whilst I was driving home from work, she calls and tells me that she has something serious to talk to me about.

Imagine my shock when she shows me a positive pregnancy test. I made her double check the expiry date of the kit and then proceeded to have a very stiff drink. And it’s a boy.

Of course we had all the anxieties associated with having a baby at a mature age. She had to undergo numerous scans and blood tests. We’ve had to prepare the twins that they are going to have a new addition to our family. AND, I had to finally go and buy a place of our own.

Today, she’s going to deliver. Hopefully, it will be smooth and uneventful. But whatever happens, life for me, for us, for the family, will change once again.

The price

Right from our childhood, we are “encouraged” to strive to do our best. To be the best. This mindset permeates all aspects of our society. We look up to people and organizations that have become the top in their spheres. Of course, those that are not the best, those who cannot make the mark, fall by the wayside.

My SO for example, holds several degrees as well as a post-graduate diploma. She briefly was the head of her department. She gave that all up to be a stay home mom to look after our twins. We wanted them to have a childhood that had a consistent attachment figure. We also wanted control over their upbringing and discipline. We got a lot of flack for that. Our mothers were unsupportive and disapproving. I think they both felt that they managed to juggle work and childcare in their time and felt that it was possible to do both. But we have no regrets, our twins are growing up to be wonderful kids.

The flip side, the other price to pay is when after all that striving, you have become one of the best. Then the stress is when everyone looks to you for advice and to set the standard. There is no one above you to look for advice. It can be difficult.

Part deux

The housing situation in homeland is getting ridiculous. Prices have risen almost double of what they were a few years ago. I do regret not buying something when prices were good but we were saving money for Hannah’s operation.

But we do need a place. Somewhere where we can make it a home. The kids will be moving to their own beds soon.

Wow, its hard to believe that its been a year since I last posted. So many things have happened. Prosaically, I’ve gained more weight. Which is not good. Being middles aged and over-weight is not a good idea. So thats my new year’s resolution. I need to tone up, become more fit and hopefully lose some weight.

The girls are doing so well. Hannah has caught up with her sister in terms of height. She’s just had her cardio review and was given a 9 month follow-up. Which is wonderful. She’s grown into a lovely girl that chatters nine to the dozen. She has a memory like an elephant and is no pushover.¬†Sophie is also growing up into a beautiful little girl. She has a dimple on her left cheek when she grins. They are both attending nursary and are well liked by their teachers.

Memories of life as a DINK is becoming more and more elusive. I cannot imagine not being a father to my kids. Its become a facet of me that colours my work and my life. It colours the way I view things and treat people. Hopefully, for the better.

 

Crossroads

We all meet crossroads in our life. It’s starts right from young, when our parents decide which school we are to attend. The resultant choice resonates even now. It’s has affected my outlook to life, the type of friends I had and have have.

And I’d like to think ( to plagarise Terry Pratchett), somewhere, sometime, I went down a different trouser leg in the pants of Destiny and am living a totally different life.

Why write about this? Well, it’s almost time to start thinking abt schools for my kids. It’s a daunting task. Rules, consequences, extra activites. This was never in the idiot’s guide to parenting.

Secondly, I feel I am reaching a crossroad in my career. And soon, unseen or not, I have to decide which trouser leg to venture down. Which to let my unseen doppleganger go. How far reaching? I don’t know. I know it will lead to a change in outlook as well as my friends.

Oh well, life as usual.